Where's Waldo?

On any given day, including some weekends and holidays...this is where you will find Gavin...Building 2 of Balboa Hospital, aka Naval Medical Center San Diego. When I go there, I have deja vu...haven't we lived through this before...um, it was called Intern year. Quite possibly the worst year together...I was alone most of the time with 1 child but prego with #2 then half way through I gave birth to #2 with a C-section and had to manage mostly on my own. And wait....here we are again...2 kids prego with #3...headed for a c-section in 6 weeks (or earlier) and I don't think Gavin can take more than a week off of work...of which week, I will be in the hospital for most of it post-surgery. I am hoping my sister can come help me for a little while afterwards...becasuse the thought of having to do it all with Gavin totally occupied with work responsibilities just makes me ill, already!
Back to Gavin's routine...he works normal, long hours in the hospital (usually leaves around 6AM and returns 6 PM ...unless, of course, he is on call...then he usually has someone who needs immediate attention after normal work hours...home a bit later...and if we are lucky, he gets to come home for some dinner, put kids to bed...and almost without fail...as soon as we slow down for the day...he'll get paged. Usually requiring him to go into the hospital...which means he usually will just sleep there once the patient is done. No sense in coming back home for a short few hours just to turn around and head back. NOW, don't get me wrong...this is already a bit better than Intern year...he used to have 30 hour calls...no coming home no sleep no life. BUT, sometimes its more of a teaser. When Gavin is at home, he almost always has a few hours of studying that needs to be done to prepare for tests, quizes, next-day surgeries, presentations (should I go on...). So, home time really is not quality time, most of the time. He had to adjust back to this mentality...and try not to get overwhelmed by the expectations. He is amazing at what he does. And I think the thing holding him through this...it that he is FINALLY getting to do what he loves in medicine. He loves the surgeries and specialty specifics...its amazing when you are doing what you like...even if it is all the time, in the middle of the night and at the cost of most other things. SO, for that we are grateful.
I have heard people tell me to get used to it, its just the life of a doctor. To which I reply, NO, actually it isn't...not in the specialty we have been holding out for so many years. To which I also reply, Thanks for the support and sympathy! Maybe this residency is a necessary evil...but it doesn't come easily and definitely not without major sacrifices for our family. I think it is just really hard for people who have not been down this road, to even start to comprehend where we have been and what we are going through...it has been a physical, emotional and mental roller coaster. I have no doubt that we will look back in the future and see the growth and be so grateful for the sacrifices that will make a better future possible. And all the while, I fight to look at every day with its blessings and try to appreciate the daily moments of success. Luckily, we have had short glimpses of what our family life will be like once all is said and done...it gives us hope and excitement.
So...why am I ranting about this....well, looking at this long, holiday weekend, I am facing it as Gavin will be on call the whole time...so I am facing a new challenge. And looking forward to the birth...I am therapeutically gearing up! ...and a little mental note to anyone expecting much out of us this year...good luck..likely not to be much!